Sunday, September 30, 2012


I am greatly sorry that there has been no activity here for almost a month. I've forgot, I don't know about Floating Penguin & Purple Cupcake Monster rarely posts. This Saturday I'm supposed to be going to the 13 gate in Baton Rouge, LA. I will try to make a post about these events. In the mean time, enjoy the blank void that this blog has become.

-Gliteriffic Ostrich

Saturday, September 8, 2012

We Could be a Soap Opera

Once upon a time there a faire maden named Floating Penguin. She endevored to be a bard with her dear cousin Cellular Dodo. As they were writing atop the scecond story of their grandmother's house with FP's family friend Silent Therapist (she's an awful therapist) CD told the story of how he was friend zoned by his love, Friendzoning Fish. There was then proclaiming that FP and Spastic Guppy both knew that that would happen. CD said he wanted to get a girlfriend before SG did, just so he could rub it in his face. FP proceeded to call a multitude of her friends to see if one of them would date CD. Eventually one agreed to. You know her, you might love her, our very own Glitterific Ostrich! That was entertaining. During the process of FP trying to find CD a girlfriend he proclaimed that he would try to get FP to date SG. Why? We're not sure. However, we do know that SG might probably have a secret crush on the faire maiden Floating Penguin.  She eventually gave into his demands and agreed to try it. However! Spastic Guppy wanted to date someone "his own age". I would like to now point out that FP and GO and PCM are all a good 18 months older than CD and SG. FP was relieved not to have to deal with all of that. A few days later CD dumped GO for similar reasons. The lot of us had a good laugh about this and CD DID manage to make SG jealous with his older woman. 

-Floating Penguin 

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Random Shlit

Recently, I went to dance "camp". It wasn't a camp like what the cheerleaders go to, it was just to learn the choreography. Anyways, one of the days, our supervisor was talking to someone & mentioned Violent Butterfly's mom. She said that his mom got a job at LHS & he was gonna go there. I freaked out because he is kinda annoying. So, that Friday, Purple Cupcake Monster & I went to see The Wolves in the Walls, a play that Floating Penguin was helping backstage in. While we were waiting for the play to start, I told her about what happened to Violent Butterfly & she decided to ask him if it was true, since she tolerated him. This sentence is off topic, but in the play, they had cupcakes & didn't eat them on stage & I told PCM & she looked so shocked. At intermission, one of the characters sat by us & she asked her if the cupcakes were real & they were. She told me "I told you" & confused the girl. Anyways, back to the main topic. After FLoating Penguin finished cleaning up the set & came to meet us & Man Who Does Not Exist, we told her the news & she was excited. PCM still didn't get why we liked this & we had to explain that we still didn't fully forgive him for the thing he did, but she had already forgiven him for it. The next day, we went to Floating Penguin's grandparents house for breakfast & went to get CC's coffee with Cellular Dodo. On the way back, we saw Violent Butterfly. After we talked a little bit, we headed back. Floating Penguin then said that she would miss him, but I said that I still had mixed feelings (The entire walk to CC's was recorded in a podcast by Floating Penguin). Yesterday, I decided to put some nail stickers on. They turned out to have butterflies on them. I noticed this after I put some of them on & declared that I subconsciously miss him. Second story: Our history square consists of Sargent McChicken Bites, Buttery Blueberry, Floating Penguin & I. We have been meaning to get together since Buttery Blueberry & I got back from camp. Then Floating Penguin went to camp. When she got back, we tried to get together & it failed. Yesterday I noticed that over the summer I got to see FP & I saw Buttery Blueberry at camp. Floating Penguin got to see me Friday & went on a date with Buttery Blueberry on Thursday. I then noticed that I have only seen the people in our history square that are staying at AES & haven't seen Sargent McChicken Bites, who is switching schools. This is sad.

-Gliteriffic Ostrich

P.S.- I got "Shlit" from a video from YouTuber Onision. You should look him up. But don't if you aren't a fan of excessive cursing.

Friday, July 20, 2012

My Newest Friend, the Internet!

I'm so so sorry that i haven't posted in like 2 months, but I have a legit reason. I was at camp for nearly the whole month of June & when I got home, I had to unpack my new house. Then came summer reading, which caused me to stay in my house for weeks, rarely leaving. Then i made a new best friend, the Internet. I created a YouTube account, which now causes me to get nothing done every day. Adding Facebook and Netflix into this, I never leave the house and hate doing any kind of work. But I did find the most amazingest show ever, called Firefly. It's in a similar category as Doctor Who, but sooooo short lived. It's only 14 episodes about an hour long. If you get really into it and hate where Fox decided to end it, they made a follow-up movie called Serenity. Thats it, since my life has nothing else going on. I feel i should post of funny camp happenings, but thats for another day. I know very few people read this and even less comment, but I want at least one person to comment on what the beginning of this post is a reference to. To me this seems too much like YouTube, but thats one of the things I'm addicted to, also ice cream with magic shell.

-Gliteriffic Ostrich

I'm so sorry. My Cohorts are Stupid.

I'm so so very sorry that my fellow bloggers have abandonder you throughout these past three weeks. As you know I left for camp, but I thought I left you lot in good hands. Obviously, I was wrong. Seeing as they haven't posted a single thing.

To make up for it I'll tell you about camp.

So my nerdy friends thought it would be hilarious (which it is) to put " my pants" or "...from the back" after things we said and " bed" after fortune cookie sayings for example I got "he who loves you will follow bed" and Running Bronie got "your contribution is bed" you can see the hilarity.

-Floating Penguin

Sunday, July 1, 2012


I'm on my way to nerd camp right now! I shall get back on the 20th of July. I shall miss you my small group of readers very, VERY much! Bye bye now

-Floating Penguin

Saturday, June 23, 2012

A Puppy and Some Roses Awwwe...not.

Hello world! I'm sorry you've been deprived of our awesomeness for so long, but Glitterific Ostrich is at camp, Purple Cupcake Monster is traveling and visiting her family, and I...well I haven't had many note worthy things happen to me, but tomorrow is Sunday and you shall be receiving our crazy phrases. Anyway, so I have a puppy named Mabel and she'll put anything she can find in her mouth. Such as: leaves, rocks, sticks, twigs, pinecones, broken porcelain, dolls, pens, markers, pencils, headphones, bottles, bananas (which are her favorite), magnets, banana peels, and poop.

So today my dad comes home from the store and he got my mum some flowers. She's putting them up in a vase and trimming them, and pouring the little nutrition packet in there with them. My dad is standing over the sink eating some water melon, and we're all within 3 feet of each other. A rose leaf falls off of the counter and lands on the floor just as Mabel walks up. Naturally she decides it's a good idea to put it in her mouth. My mum has the plant nutrition chemicals on her hand so she can't dig it outta Mabel's mouth and tells us that someone needs to get it out. She looks at me, so my father thinks it was directed at me specifically so he just keeps eating watermelon. i kneel down and try to fish it out of her mouth. She is being very difficult and doesn't want me to take her "treat" away, so I start laughing at my inability to do this. I utter "help me" and no one moves, so I keep laughing making it near impossible to get it. My parents keep giving me instructions like "hurry" and "swipe her tongue". I'm still laughing and Mabel's trying to get away so I have to hold her face open with one hand, "swipe her tongue" with the other, and hold her still with my knees. Eventually I get it out and fling it on the floor before throwing away the limp, slobber covered leaf. Ew.

-Floating Penguin

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Coffee Adventures

The other day my cousin was complaining that he never gets to go to the coffee shop with me and Cellular Dodo so I said "well let's go" so we walked down and he had never been before, he was so confused! We walk in and I'm standing in line, like a normal person, and he's just wandering aimlessly so I lean over and grab him by the collar of his T-shirt and pull him back in front of me and say "stay". Eventually it's our turn to order, so I tell the lady what I want and then there was a pause and I say "I don't know what he wants" clearly meaning my little cousin. He leans over to me and whispers "what kind of smoothies do they have?" so I read him the list off the menu (which was on the wall) and he goes "oh." and then looks at his feet, silent. I look at the girl, then at him, then I lean over to him and half-whisper "this is the part when you order". So he orders and we move over to where we wait for our drinks. He was like taking a little wooden coffee stirrer and he's putting it in his mouth and then it broke in half. Finally his drink comes and I have to guide him through the process of grabbing it and getting a straw. So I'm waiting for mine and out of no where he goes "Oh my god!" and I'm like "what?" and he says "I have that same toaster!". The counter behind us had the straws, and stirrers, and like sugar, and apparently a toaster. He was marveling at it as if it was some revalation that he had the same toaster. I'm just like "that's lovely" and he goes "That's so weird, I have that exact same toaster". I don't know if any of you are familiar with Roosterteeth, but
Our conversation about the toaster was extremely similar to Chris and Bernie's conversation about the microwave. (in case you couldn't figure it out on your own, he's Chris)

-Floating Penguin

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Sunday Bloody Sunday

That's the title of a Paramore song. In case you were wondering, which I'm sure you were. Anyways. Here's what you came for.

Pretending to be the announcer at a golf tournament:
"And this putter goes back and forward"

Spastic Guppie was splashing him with Gulf of Mexico water:
"I don't wanna get aids from Caesar!"


School trip to Boston:
Pretending to be time travelers:
"What year is it?!"

We went to this town and some guys bought plastic pickles that had a button that you could push and it would start to yodel:
FP: "make your pickle shut up!"
Cetaphobic Squid: "I'm sorry! My pickle's very sensitive!"

Walking down the street half hearing a conversation:
"Did they just say 'beating the child with a penguin'?"

I told Sargent McChiken Bites to fix his hair and I think it was GO who looked at me weird:
"What? He looked like a chicken."

My baby cousin grabbed my arm and started biting me:
"Now she's just licking me"

-Floating Penguin

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Mr. Phephernoose and Evil Pigeon Queen

Those are 2 of my father (Rong Jon)'s older sister(Jomma Cuervo)'s kids. EPQ older than me, MP younger than me, and Sugar Plum Farrie (boy, youngest). They happened to be in Gulf Shores at the same time as us and I spent the whole day with them. We went to a hippe shop. I bought 2 buttons that said "I'm schizophrenic and so am I" "Normal people frighten me". She bought one that said "I'm not normal". They're all true of course. And then we went to a souvenire shop, and me and her each bought a small stuffed animal. Jomma Cuervo told us to hide our dolls cos Sugar Plum Farrie would steal them from us. So I shoved my panda up my shirt; and I say "yeah, I'm weird, I don't care. Get over it". Mr. Phephernoose responded to this asking who said that and Evil Pigeon Queen said "the girl with the panga up her shirt". The night before EPQ realized I was a year older than she thought and made me hug her, when I scooted back to the edge of the bed she started saying "it seems like just yesterday you were-" then I proceeded to fall off the side of her bed in a big, completely ungraceful tumble. We laughed our heads off. I popped up and said "it seems like just yesterday I was what?" yeah, it totally killed the moment, but it made its own new moment. That's all I have to say on the topic.

-Floating Penguin

Monday, May 28, 2012

I. Hate. Cockroaches.

Seriously. If I had to pick one thing on this earth that I utterly despise it would be cockroaches. They freak me out and terrify me. Believe me, I'm a strong girl, there's a lot I can take, but those are my kryptonite. So last night I found one in my room, my dad chased it...into my closet. So I slept in the living room. It was okay cos I knew we were leaving today to go on vacation. The next morning I go into my room to find a different one by the door. My father refuses to do anything about this one. However, my mum promises me that the place we are going doesn't come with cockroaches. I enter the room I'm staying in to find YET ANOTHER ONE ON MY WALL. I almost lost it. My dad managed to chase it out of my room though...why do they hate me?

-Floating Penguin

Sunday, May 27, 2012


Glitterific Ostrich is going away to camp soon and se asked me to write her a letter so that she'll have one when she gets there. She said it has to have something in it, but it can be total gibberish. So I wrote it in Japanese. She'll love that. On a different note, remember how I said I was hanging out with Legendary Cat again? (Of course you don't no one reads this) Well he lied to me and told me that Buttery Blueberry and Cetaphobic Squid don't like me, or Purple Cupcake Monster, or Glitterific Ostrich. That just didn't sit right with me, so I did some investigation and, yeah. Legendary Cat has not changed one bit. If he's a legendary cat, maybe he's a prince. Well the prince of cats is Tybalt from Romeo and Juliet and he died, by stabbing. Enjoy :)

-Floating Penguin

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Well it's Thursday, we're reporting live from Boston! Our whole grade took a trip there and they ship us back to Louisiana tomorrow so short recap: Monday-second flight was delayed so we got to Boston late, but we got to see some bronzed trash, a traffic come in a tree, a crazy lady yell at us, we went to an Italian restaraunt and the lady callede cute cos I spoke in Italian to her. Also while in the airport I found out that Awkward Owl and Legendary Cat watch Studio Ghibli junk so yay. And Glitterific Ostrich is mad at us (Purple Cupcake Monster and I) so that's fun. And yeah, we're hanging out with the two guys I mentioned earlier now. And on Teusdai- we went to Salem so that was cool. Wednesday-science museum, got a plush Dino for my unborn cousin, Quincy Market got creepy and nerdy junk, and Blue Man Group!! but I got covered in bananas... And today on Thursday- we are in a mall and me, Purple Cupcake Monster, and Legendary Cat ran into a store and were like "what year is it???" and that kinda stuff and we confused the guy there. It was fun.
-Floating Penguin

Sunday, May 6, 2012

It's Been Way Too Many Sundays Since I Did This.

Yeah, you know what I mean...

Cellular Dodo:
Texting me:
"Ya I can see cause u keep interrupting me and I have to stop" 

Talking like an old man:
"Oh why am I talking like an old man?"
"Oh hish nish phints oh propel unpropel"

Doing something stupid with me:
"Aw fudge nipples"
"That's my new thing, fudge nipples"

Trying to eat a hard boiled egg:
"Damn it you stupid eggshell! Peeeel"

Apparently remembering a time when the persone he was talking to was suffocating him (me? One of our baby cousins??):
"You were suffocating me, remember?"

Floating Penguin:
Making dinner with my dad:
"I don't go all Jedi on my rice"

Talking to my cousin:
"where are your pants?"

Talking to my dog:
"you're not a squirrel!"
"stop eating twigs and pine cones!"

Finding out both of my ex's like My Little Ponies...:
"I'm gonna leave behind a trail of bronies!"

I don't even know:
"what the frog?!?!?"

Walks into bedroom. Father says "she just re-entered her room" in a somewhat ominous tone. I attempt to say "never to emerge" but I started to lie down on my bed and my abs are REALLY sore cos of a number of things (PE, dancing, & swimming) so it came out more like:
"never to e-aaaayhh!!"

-Floating Penguin.

Monday, April 30, 2012

Stupid Pinkaponians

Lately Glitterific Ostrich and I have been watching an anime called Sgt. Frog, it's awesome. This means that we've using some of that terminology. For example: calling humans Pinkaponians and Earth Pinkapon and saying "what the frog?" Anyway me and her were sitting on the ground during break today and these few morons from our grade start tackling each other right next to us and Awkward Owl comes up and says "To think, it was this species who went into space" it's very sad when you realize how stupid some Pinkaponians are.
-Floating Penguin.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Sleep Juggling Kittens

So Yesterday during History class Buttery Blueberry,Glitterific Ostrich, Sargent McChiken Bites, and I were having various conversations while trying to find important people and vocab words in the chapter. So we're all pretty much on the same page with the words (no pun intended) and I think we were looking for religious fervor and randomly Buttery Blueberry blurts out
"my arms really hurt and I have no idea why"
and I say something along the lines of "well what did you do?"
BB "I don't know"
FP "well we're you...I don't know eating kittens?"
GO "I don't think eating kittens would hurt your arms"
SMCB "Juggling kittens would hurt your arms though"
BB "I don't remember juggling any kittens"
GO "maybe it was in your sleep"
BB "sleep juggling kittens? Hmm..."
FP "I'm pretty sure sleep juggling kittens would hurt your arms"
GO "yes, it would"
FP *writes Sleep Kitten Juggling on her hand to remind her to write a post about it later*
We all laughted and went about our merry way. And I don't really know why I started talking in third person for a minute there, but ok.
-Floating Penguin

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Song Genre Analysis

With the help of my people I was able to formulate some generic lyrics grouped roughly by genres. . .
Country (male):
Ohh my beer! My dooog! My woman who left me. So sad... MY TRACTOR!!!
I trusted him for no aparent reason. He was so sweet to me, but then he screwed me over and now I'm lonely.

Mainstream pop/hip hop/rap/whatever you know why I mean (male):
Club club club. Shawty shawty shawty. DJ DJ DJ. Light fixtures. Light fixtures. Rapping rapping rapping rapping rapping. *repeat previous lyrics*
*unintelligible non singing*

Rock (male):
Metaphorical monsters and daemons! I've been hurt! But then this awesome chick saved me from depression, then she got too drunk and fell into a coma and died…
There was this guy and he screwed me over ad then a chick died cos he screwed her over at the same time.

Punk (male):
I'm rebelling against mainstream society! Yeah! And this chick! She's hot, cos she's rebelling with me!
I had a terrible childhood cos all those kids On the play ground, they were messing with me. Not to mention how my parents treated me. Everyone thought I was messed up for life and totally irreparable, but I'm gonna fight them and live my life!

This post was purely for laughs, not to diss any music or anything, so don't take offense to it.
-Floating Penguin

No New Pseudonyms, I'm Too Lazy

Please excuse my absence, I have been in Colorado & it's terrible reception limits the amount of time that I can get on the Internet. But fear not, I shall try to summaries my wels adventure. Out of all the 3 days that I went skiing, I only fell once & that was because of the terrible conditions. While I was going to the chair lift, I hit a ice/water puddle that my skis got stuck in. I shot forward & hurt most of my body. This next part was super stupid. I decided to text my old friend L, right now, I'm too lazy to create a pseudonym. When I decided to pull a prank on him. I texted him saying that I have the body, but it's all cut up. Them I asked him how I was supposed to taxidermise it & he took it seriously & said that he called the police. This caused me to freak out, so I contacted Floating Penguin & asked her for help. (she had to explain to me that he was joking, Zombie slayer and her had already been there done that with Umbrella Theif) She went all out on him. He then decides that he'll "call off the police" if I send him pics of me. When I tell FP bout this, she gets at him about how blackmail is the only way that he could ever get a girl, which scares him & he backs off. He then repays my by getting a video of himself in ropes saying that he's sorry. I think it's petty, but it's on his Facebook. That's about all that happened to me over break, but I did get my graduation dress, which looks amazing.

-Glitterific Ostrich

Saturday, April 7, 2012


So...I'm sick. For those of you who feel attached to me it's nothing serious, but hatters gonna hate, and if you feel that strongly for me and need to hate, hate on Buttery Blueberry. I'm pretty sure he's to blame for this. "Blame Buttery Blueberry". On a note that is no lighter than this one: Glitterific Ostrich and Purple Cupcake Monster have abandoned me during this spring break of ours. They have ventured north and left me to rot down here in desease ridden Louisiana. I have occupied my lonely time by painting various surfaces. First I painted an originally bright pink flower and I would totaly put in a photo of it, but my phone's being an idiot so there! It's sorta a blackish-greyish-pinkish color. And I painted on a canvas (I'm trying to paint a rose, but the background was taking too long to dry) and since I got bored I painted my nails bright yeah. That was my day.
-Floating Penguin

Sunday, March 25, 2012


Weird Junk! We don't remember where most of this came from so im just gonna put it in 2 big ole lumps. For the record, I have no idea where zucchini came from...

Cellular Dodo:
“The first day I got it, it got all pointy”
“Don’t tell me these don’t look like Hershey's chocolates”
“When you do that I’m gonna have to like remember everything”
“You misspelled high again”
“Cause we - *cough cough* - we’re high on life, that sounds like a country song”
“My lip just got a little numb”
“Your eyebrow skin is really creeping me out”
“I undid my lip for that”
“Wanna play supernatural hide and seek”
“Dude this knee is a computer and that one is a book”
“Can I lick you?”
“Lizard Mr. Lizard”
“That looks nothing like a bird”
“Short person doing underdog”
“You hit me with a band aid, now I need that bandaid.”
“Is that a pear or a bomb?”

Floating Penguin:
“Folder achew, achew, achew...”
“You just blew in my eye”
“Cause I’m trying not to try”
“We’re high on life”
“NO, you stupid nesquick bunny come back here”
“The muffin man did not steal your muffin!”
“You squashed my broccoli!”
“We’re talking tout raplapla”
“Throwing a bitch”
“Go inside, my purple notebook is wear my purple notebook always is. Get my phone”
“Helen in her tux and Mark in his little formal”
“What?! Three legged priest? Where’d you get that from!?”
“How is a gourd supposed to work?”

-Floating Penguin, and Cellular Dodo

Friday, March 23, 2012

Sargent McChiken Bites Died In Battle!

Our dear and cherished friend, Sargent McChiken Bites died in battle against a dreaded math test. It was a tragic acident of which Glitterific Ostrich noticed and proclaimed that he was dead. It is a sad day and he will forever live on in loving memory. He was at math counts and wouldn't respond to our texts. There's only one solution: he's dead. We shall now mourn his loss...HE'S ALIVE! He responded to our texts, but the math test still won the battle. This means he is heavily wounded and might not make it.
-Floating Penguin

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Nothing Better To Do

1. I really need to stop watching Heroes marathons cos the rush of informations at such a late hour makes me freak out and post.
2. Spoiler Alert: season 3 episode 11.
3. I hate Elle. Twice she's helped Gabriel act nice and sweet and controll his powers and then she just HAD to go and make him evil again.
4. I don't like Mr. Petrelli either cos he made Hiro forget 18 years of his life do now he's 10. Not to mention taking away Peter's powers and making Daphne all paranoid and junk.
5. I have no life...
6. Seriously, if the only thing I have to post about is me watching old SciFi then my life is gone.
7. Eclipse, Claire got shot and can't heal! Ahh!!! No, Claire, don't die!
8. Why in the world was Hiro just throwing ears of corn at Matt...?
9. Mohinder is no longer a snake, wahoo!
10. Oh my god! Oz from Buffy just cameod! (Seth Green) I speak nerd, so yeah. And all nerds speak the same language so any nerds out there will understand at least some of this post.
-Floating Penguin

Friday, March 16, 2012


Watching Heros, season 3 episode 3. I. Am such. A nerd. Anyway, if you happen to watch the show, but are not caught up yet: spoiler allert! Ok so mind=blown. I just found out that Sylar is one of Mrs. Petrelli's apparently three!! Sons. Wow. Did not see that one coming. Which makes Gabriel Claire's uncle! And Nathan's brother and Peter's brother! And Since Claire is adopted by Noah and he hates Sylar/Gabriel it's gonna make it really awkward now that Noah/Mr. Bennett/Horn Rimmed Glasses Guy was just partnered with him. Not to mention that Matt is spontaneously in Africa and Mohinder injected himself with the super-power-possibly-lethal-injection and is hanging from the ceiling and flirting with Maya and now he has these little, well actually they're quite large, holes in his back. Oh and future Peter is mean and current Peter is trapped in some magical convict's body. Why is it that the cute ones are bad? Well, Gabriel is acting pretty decent now, but his character is really good at acting so he might be faking the nice thing. It's moments like this when I really see how geeky I am. But hey, "even loosers can get lucky sometimes. All the freaks on a winning streak. Shout it all around the world cause the geeks get the girls"
-Floating Penguin

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

I, the Extremely Tall Person, Shall Hide Behind You, the Average Sized Person

The past few days have been exhausting. The CIA finally found me & forgave me about the mission. I just got back from HQ in Atlantis & I would love to tell you what happened, but they won't let me. (I tried to tell them that I was going to tell only a few people, but they didn't believe me.) instead I will tell you what they told me to tell everyone.
Friday: I was blessed to go to the high school dance with Floating Penguin & Purple Cupcake Monster. On our way to FP's house & the gym, PCM sat in my little sisters booster seat, which my mom was fine about. When we got there a sophomore, who shall be nicknamed Pedo Sr., decided to mess with Bottomless Pit & his friend, Torlet Munster, which I think might have scared them. Also, FP's buddy's boyfriend, Wild Monkey on Steroids, decided to join our group of people. While Bottomless Pit hid behind PCM & covered his eyes, Torlet Munster was chased by WMoS around the gym. There were other funny things that happened at the dance, but that's to many to name. PCM & I then got to sleep over at FP's house & PCM was the first to go to sleep. FP & I then had the idea to play loud music in her ear to try & wake her up. This didn't work, so FP said to just leave her & we went to sleep in the living room.
Saturday: Somehow, PCM woke up in the middle of the night & came & found us. When FP & I woke up, we found her & FP tried to wake her up. First she threw a pillow at her & when that didn't work she said that we had food & she instantly sat up. After we finally got situated, she told us that. In her dream, we died. There was also a blessing from above. We were rewarded to clean out PCM's binder & create a heart. The heart was fun to make, but the binder wasn't that fun. One of the things that I said bout babies is mentioned in FP's most recent post. Sunday: Nothing, absolutely nothing.
Monday:I can confess that I don't remember what happened.
Today: Weirdest dream, my school was becoming posh & had extended the library staircase into the ground. I ended up getting lost in this weird old brick thing with Shiny Feather & as we tried to escape, she knocked down our way out & ended up working out with Goldfish & some train sets. I actually slept in while this was going on & when my mom came to my room to see if I was awake, I jumped. The rest of my day is a jumble of learning that I can't remember half of. So there is my past few days as the CIA told me to tell everyone. I shall also post a picture of our giant, trashy (literally) heart as soon as it is fully assembled.
-Glitteriffic Ostrich
P.S.- This title refers to when Bottomless Pit hid behind Purple Cupcake Monster

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Mrs. Beanie Cat. The Song.

Well I, Floating Penguin, wore a hat with cat ears today. Cellular Dodo named me Mrs. Beanie Cat. He wont stop singing that now. Currently he is searching for treasure with a tennis ball and he sounds like s total idiot. Seriously, you should be hear. I would be typing everything he says, but it's far too much. Apparently the sound of treasure turns him on. Anyway it's Sunday, so here comes random junk!

Me at school, don't remember the circumstances:
“You take the spoon out and you put it in someone’s mouth”
“Apparently they have space aids too”
“triplet Nazis ate the tissues”
“Oh my god, it’s a hand!”
“No it’s a wall, it doesn’t look like a taco”

Him at Chili's:
“The mayonnaise was the best part, but we haven’t gotten to that part yet.”
“I can’t run retarded without having retard hands”
“Someone was carrying a fajita around the restaurant”

Just now:
Floating Penguin:
“Cause that could happen without your backpack setting on fire.”
“Wait her chair was on fire?”

Cellular Dodo:
“I was like jittering up”
“Mrs. Beanie Cat. What was that?”
"No, there has treasure under there. See! But no, yes, no, yes.”
“Treasure! More Treasure!”

FP “Ah! No! Ah! Double sided pencil!”
CD “My brother makes those every day”

At Zombie Slayer's house:
“America’s most trusted condom”
“Die die die love”

With my other bloggers at my house:
“This should be treated like a newborn child and not dropped that often”
“It takes a village to kill a binder”

“Stop putting your foot in your food, you’re leaving enchilada footprints”
“No, Layla stop licking the milk carton, Andre got sick from doing that”

-Floating Penguin
With Featured Writer, Cellular Dodo

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

I Shall Rule The World With My Song Money!

Back by popular demand (JK, because barley anyone ever reads this blog). Many of you may be wondering why I haven't been posting in a while. This is because I have had too much homework, projects and tests. Did you believe in that excuse, I didn't think so. I have actually been on an extremely hard secret task from the CIA. But midway through the mission, I told them that I had to go back to school & they got mad at me & abandoned me in the South American Jungle, alone and with very little resources. But as you can tell, I made it out safely. Though, what I did want to tell you today is that Floating Penguin and I are going to become billionaires. This is how our conversation went:

Me: Can you help me with my French song?

FP: Sure, what's yours about?

Me: I'm not sure yet

FP: Well choose a topic

Me: There are no limits?

FP: Dude, mine is about Calcifer

Me: K, mine will be about the tardis


Me: I emailed you the final piece

FP: It's awesome

Me: Thanks, what's yours look like?

FP: Peut tout de bacon votre brûler!
Je ne peux pas cuisiner.
Le maître dormiez.
Pas maison, pas moulin, mais châteaux.

Je m'appelle Calcifer.
Et il est Howl.
Sophie faire le ménage.
Et il cuisine.
Je suis un démon du feu

mon cul est son cœur
la méchante sorcière a essayé de le voler
Elle est vieille et gourmand
(Translation: May all your bacon burn!
I can not cook.
The master slept.
No house, no mill, but castles.
My name is Calcifer.
And it is Howl.
Sophie to clean.
And he cooks.
I am a fire demon

My ass is his heart
The wicked witch tried to steal
She is old and greedy)
I'm not done yet

Me: its funny

FP: Why thank you

Me: You should send it to a French song producer & ask them to have a famous person sing it

FP: Haha so should you!
Me: Totally, then one year when we travel to Europe there will be French people singing our songs

FP: Uh ya

Me: But, someone is gonna take credit for our work & then we will have to hunt them down & claim the rights of the songs

FP: This is rue

Me: But he will definitely give us the song rights because we are more AWESOMEST then him (& yes, my phone auto-corrected me for "AWESOMEST")

FP: This is also true

Me: & we then can build a vast new empire with our new fortune

And if you must know, my song went like this
Quelque chose de vieux,
Quelque chose de nouveau,
Quelque chose d'emprunté,
Et quelque chose de bleu

Cela peut sembler petite,
Ce n'est pas ce qu'il semble.
Mais il est grand à l'intérieur quitter,
Pas à être méchant.

Avec toutes les aventures,
Il ya un grand récit d'être racontée.
Des grands peuples,
Et les civilisations de l'ancien.

Cela peut sembler petite,
Ce n'est pas ce qu'il semble.
Mais il est grand à l'intérieur quitter,
Pas à être méchant.

Which translates to
Something old,
Something new,
Something borrowed,
And something blue

This may seem small,
This is not what it seems.
But it is big inside out,
Not to be mean.

With all the adventures,
There is a great story to be told.
Of great peoples,
And civilizations of the old.

This may seem small,
This is not what it seems.
But it is big inside out,
Not to be mean.

I know that it’s really bad, but it is worth 10 extra points in French, which is quite hard.

This is for all you incompetent fools out there who don’t know who Calcifer is or what the TARDIS is.
This is the TARDIS (Time And Relative Dimensions In Space)
And this is Calcifer
-Glitteriffic Ostrich

Saturday, March 3, 2012

I'm Not Gay

Well first off, I'm not gay. Secondly, my father just said to me, "When you come out we can talk,". Now in context this made perfect sense. I'm about to go to Zombie Slayer's house and I was in my room packing and getting dressed. He asked me if I had gotten in touch with her, I said I hadn't cos her phone got taken away. That's when he told me, "When you come out we can talk," meaning when I leave my room we can discuss letting her know we were on our way.
-Floating Penguin

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Almost bi-weekly issue of odd things I say

It's Sunday, and you know what that means: I tell you the stupid junk I said the past few weeks!!
Walking around during PE, talking about random junk:
"Nothing, nothing, nothing, STRAP!"
"Yes, you are a baby giraffe"
"My laughter will kill the world"
"Woosh. The arrow shot you to the wall?"
"My soul is an orb"
"I DON'T KNOW WHERE  THE MUSHR-oh there's the mushroom"
"What's the prairie dog show?" 

At Purple Cupcake Monster's house:
FP: "this smells good…"
PCM: "what does it smell like?"
FP: "a fl-ow-ha"
"Yes, I'll drug my parents and stay here forevers and evers"

Umm...I'm just gonna go with "Other" here...
"Load my demon friend"
"nope, no chinchilla coats"
"What hat? Oh that hat! No one cares about that hat"

-Floating Penguin

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Partying Partying, Yeah! Fun Fun Fun...

On Friday I (Floating Penguin) hosted a party, with the help of Glitterific Ostrich. We invited a bunch of friends. 7 girls, 7 guys. It was awesome. As soon as three guys showed up my front yard was covered in plastic cups and a plastic hat. The five of us went in my back yard and K fell in love with my rope swing. He then proclaimed that he had cetaceaphobia and we were like "what the hell is that?" apparently it's the fear of whales...and then we all became whales... Eventually more people started showing up, therefore more whales. They discovered an old, and I mean OLD swing I had. The boards are moldy and the frame is rusty. Six people piled on it!
And that's not all! After that we played a giant game of truth or dare. Most people picked dare. There was a lot of kissing on the cheek and shouting at pedestrians. Finally the parade reached our general area. We went down and K bought a squid hat (maybe to ward off stray whales?) My cousin, L, came cos he was bored. I reunited him with his birth father, K. This is them.
It started raining, no one really cared, in fact we liked it! The top, and only the top, of my pony tail was soaked. All of our hair was sticking to our faces, and yet when we got back to my house we wanted to stay outside and get rained on while continuing truth or dare. Unfortunately the parents started showing up soon, so people started leaving, no one wanted to leave. one of my best friends (known by Zombie Slayer from here on out) was the first to leave and she was very sad. We all decided that we need to do this again, so the next one is at ZS's house. XP.
-Floating Penguin

Wednesday, February 15, 2012


So y'all remember my post titled "7:17" right? Well now it's 7:29 and my mum is STILL in her pajamas. Not only that, but she lost her anckle brace and was looking all over for it and finally she tells me and my dad to help her look for it. So my dad follows her down the hall to her room and the bathroom, I, on the other hand, turn and go the opposite direction to check the den. Guess what I found! Her anckle brace. The first place I look and the one place she didn't look. This is not the first time I find something for her in the first place I look. -FP

Saturday, February 11, 2012

No fair, you got the one with the babies on it

Whilst at the awesome Rio parade with PCM, I was blessed to loose all feeling in my toes due to the 30 degre weather. And since it's Mardi Gras, you have to scream the loudest, which is very easy for PCM. After about 5 minutes, she had a ton of beads. It wasn't until I started screaming a little more, I started to catch up to her. Once we were both had about the same number of beads, I caught a really cool bead. It had a bunch of blue king cake babies on it. PCM was quite upset because I had a better necklace than her. I hope to wear this tomorrow when I help her & FP make Valentines day stuff. -Glitteriffic Ostrich

Saturday, February 4, 2012

I Don't Know You...

So I'm at a Mardi Gras ball right now, and every time a song that Purple Cupcake Monster knows plays in the background she starts singing and dancing and screaming, and I'm just like "ok cool I, uh, I don't know you..." -Floating Penguin

Tuesday, January 31, 2012


On the bus today, I was blessed to hear Purple Cupcake Monster and Bottomless Pit discuss the chocolate that PCM was eating. Once we got on the subject of my Mardi Gras ball, I decided to tell him that both of the bufet tables would be taken away in the middle of the party and all that I got from him was an extremely shocked face. I swore he was gonna freak out, but I then told him that the dessert table is out the entire night. I pray I am right or else I will have a very unhappy Bottomless Pit. -Gliteriffic Ostrich

Sunday, January 29, 2012

What Happens When You Get Bored at 10am at Your Grandma's House

Playing with a lighter: Cellular Dodo “If I turned this thing upside down would it blow up?” “Fire!” he had fire but then saying fire made it go out “You’re right. I am breathing too much.” 
“Woah, you don’t have to do it, then hold it, but you can also hold it then do it” “Imagine that in slow motion, you just see spit flying out” Playing with a xylophone: Cellular Dodo “While I annoyingly play an alligator xylophone” “Damn keys won’t work” Drops xylophone “Xli-pone bitch” Floating Penguin “How do you spell xylophone? Cause I just spelled it xli-pone” Getting a pen: Floating Penguin “Die die die die die” She was talking to a pen “Sucsess! Wait is that blue?” “Wait that sounds like I was having a pregnancy test” Making icecream: Cellular Dodo “That’s an expiration date all right” “Yeah squirt that Hershey’s syrup everywhere” “meow meow meow yeah I can be a bitch” Floating Penguin “Who’s fingers can fit in there” “Where’d ya put the...nevermind” FP: “how’d it get way over there?” CD: “It jerked up” -Floating Penguin

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Smart is the New Sexy

So this guy walks into Starbucks and I see him and I'm thinking "Oh he's kinda cute he's probably like 14-16 years old, and he's sitting at the table right in front of me so I look up and he's got this textbook open and this girl walks up and sits by him, right? So I think "maybe she's his girlfriend" but she looks a couple years older than him, then I realize that his text book is really small, kinda like the math one I have sitting in my lap right now. That's when it all came together: he's stupid, she's his tutor. I no longer think he's that attractive, after all smart is the new sexy. -Floating Penguin

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Tounge Typing

It takes skill to type in your iPhone password with your tounge...
-Floating Penguin

The Answer To Life

So many things have happened to me in the past few days. At our lock n, I was blessed with hearing James scream at a promethan board. All he would say was "You are bad parents, prepare to die" or "Who puts a baby in a washing machine?". I also got to go to Cotillion and saw midget forks and spoons. Yet it was my dog that scared me the most. I decided to play with her outside and when I went to play with her, she jumped on me and scared the shit out of me. I then became hysterical and called FP and she seemed to think I was over reacting, which I was not. Overall, I say I had a pretty good weekend.
-Glitteriffic Ostrich

PS Bret just said that dinosaurs wore makeup, which is the explanation for plant seeds being spread. Its either that or there was a giant Muslim bomb and it spread the seeds. Why is he so racist?

Wednesday, January 18, 2012


It's 7:17 in the morning and my mum is still in her robe, why can't I fuss at her for being slow and not ready or that we're gonna be late? Cause she sure does that to me and I'm never still in my pajamas at 7:17 (unless, of course, I don't have school or I'm sick)
-Floating Penguin

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Why did I say this? Extended Version Featuring Cellular Dodo

With my cousin Cellular Dodo

Our conversations:
CD: "Look, it's not gonna destroy the ozone lair"
CD: "But you can save my sole"
FP:  "Why would I want to save your shoe?"

FP: "I would help you, but she sneezed all over the folders"
CD: "Did she just say duh dun daaaaa?" *dramatic voice*

CD: "I'm gonna go to the bathroom"
FP: "You have fun with that"

CD: "What if I'm dieing and my entire life is flashing before my eyes?"
CD: "Respond to that right now"
FP: "Wait what?"
-Floating Penguin (with special guest Cellular Dodo)

Why did I say this?

Here are a list of the odd phrases I've said so far tonight: "No, please j-just stop dipping your pretzel in your water" "No, eating candy is bad for you, eating candy is wrong, the aliens will eat your face off" "Did you pee on..." "Yes, cause me and my dad are, we're magical" "Yeah but now you're around me and I have generic bad luck" "Are you singing the colors of the alphabet?" "Of all the things you could've repeated from our conversation, you chose off putting?" "Cause it's my word"
-Floating Penguin

Friday, January 13, 2012

1-2 Hour Time Span

Today was a very strange day for me. I got to go to Floating Penguin's house, which is always strange. On our walk back from Maggie Moo's, I found a banana peel on the ground and chased her with it claiming that if she was touched by it, she would get rabies. Once she was touched, I wanted to put the peel in someones mailbox, but she said that it was illegal, so I had to put it on top. We also claimed that once we left the house it would be blown up by the CIA, singe we are their most wanted. This would result in Gladys really blowing up, and i didn't think she wanted that. I also attempted to throw Gladys' toy at her, with out her jumping up, and shouting "Throw the cheese!" (ASDF reference). We even shouted random scenes from ASDF videos whilst I was eating pasta that I first thought were shrimp. And after all this time, I just noticed that I am writing backwards. This means that the first event happened last and the last event happened first. I didn't even mean for that to happen.

-Gliteriffic Ostrich

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Healthy Creatures

Just like every day, I pick up my cat, take her to my rom and procede to talk to her about my day and any random thoughts (don't judge me, this is how i vent about my day). Today I questioned her about her thoughts on our new puppy, which we will be getting this Saturday. After this, I sat on my bed and started asking her about random things. The idea then came to me, CATS SHOULD BE ABLE TO GET BRACES! I then asked her if on her next appointment I should go with her and ask her vet her opinion on this matter. Since she apparently didn't want this, she jumped out of my arms and sat by the door. I then reassured her that only kittens would need to get them, since their growth. I think she is still scared of me and still hates me.
-Glitteriffic Ostrich

Sunday, January 8, 2012


You know you're lovestruck when you've been counting down the hours all weekend until you get to see your crush again. Especially when you rejoice at 8:45 Sunday night because you only have 24 hours left.
-Floating Penguin

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Adorkableness, rouge AI's, and wormholes...

Adorkableness, rouge AI's, and wormholes...this is what you get from a Warehouse 13 and Eureka marathon. Along with some awkward love triangles, but what triangle isn't awkward?
-Floating Penguin