Tuesday, January 31, 2012


On the bus today, I was blessed to hear Purple Cupcake Monster and Bottomless Pit discuss the chocolate that PCM was eating. Once we got on the subject of my Mardi Gras ball, I decided to tell him that both of the bufet tables would be taken away in the middle of the party and all that I got from him was an extremely shocked face. I swore he was gonna freak out, but I then told him that the dessert table is out the entire night. I pray I am right or else I will have a very unhappy Bottomless Pit. -Gliteriffic Ostrich

Sunday, January 29, 2012

What Happens When You Get Bored at 10am at Your Grandma's House

Playing with a lighter: Cellular Dodo “If I turned this thing upside down would it blow up?” “Fire!” he had fire but then saying fire made it go out “You’re right. I am breathing too much.” 
“Woah, you don’t have to do it, then hold it, but you can also hold it then do it” “Imagine that in slow motion, you just see spit flying out” Playing with a xylophone: Cellular Dodo “While I annoyingly play an alligator xylophone” “Damn keys won’t work” Drops xylophone “Xli-pone bitch” Floating Penguin “How do you spell xylophone? Cause I just spelled it xli-pone” Getting a pen: Floating Penguin “Die die die die die” She was talking to a pen “Sucsess! Wait is that blue?” “Wait that sounds like I was having a pregnancy test” Making icecream: Cellular Dodo “That’s an expiration date all right” “Yeah squirt that Hershey’s syrup everywhere” “meow meow meow yeah I can be a bitch” Floating Penguin “Who’s fingers can fit in there” “Where’d ya put the...nevermind” FP: “how’d it get way over there?” CD: “It jerked up” -Floating Penguin

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Smart is the New Sexy

So this guy walks into Starbucks and I see him and I'm thinking "Oh he's kinda cute he's probably like 14-16 years old, and he's sitting at the table right in front of me so I look up and he's got this textbook open and this girl walks up and sits by him, right? So I think "maybe she's his girlfriend" but she looks a couple years older than him, then I realize that his text book is really small, kinda like the math one I have sitting in my lap right now. That's when it all came together: he's stupid, she's his tutor. I no longer think he's that attractive, after all smart is the new sexy. -Floating Penguin

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Tounge Typing

It takes skill to type in your iPhone password with your tounge...
-Floating Penguin

The Answer To Life

So many things have happened to me in the past few days. At our lock n, I was blessed with hearing James scream at a promethan board. All he would say was "You are bad parents, prepare to die" or "Who puts a baby in a washing machine?". I also got to go to Cotillion and saw midget forks and spoons. Yet it was my dog that scared me the most. I decided to play with her outside and when I went to play with her, she jumped on me and scared the shit out of me. I then became hysterical and called FP and she seemed to think I was over reacting, which I was not. Overall, I say I had a pretty good weekend.
-Glitteriffic Ostrich

PS Bret just said that dinosaurs wore makeup, which is the explanation for plant seeds being spread. Its either that or there was a giant Muslim bomb and it spread the seeds. Why is he so racist?

Wednesday, January 18, 2012


It's 7:17 in the morning and my mum is still in her robe, why can't I fuss at her for being slow and not ready or that we're gonna be late? Cause she sure does that to me and I'm never still in my pajamas at 7:17 (unless, of course, I don't have school or I'm sick)
-Floating Penguin

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Why did I say this? Extended Version Featuring Cellular Dodo

With my cousin Cellular Dodo

Our conversations:
CD: "Look, it's not gonna destroy the ozone lair"
CD: "But you can save my sole"
FP:  "Why would I want to save your shoe?"

FP: "I would help you, but she sneezed all over the folders"
CD: "Did she just say duh dun daaaaa?" *dramatic voice*

CD: "I'm gonna go to the bathroom"
FP: "You have fun with that"

CD: "What if I'm dieing and my entire life is flashing before my eyes?"
CD: "Respond to that right now"
FP: "Wait what?"
-Floating Penguin (with special guest Cellular Dodo)

Why did I say this?

Here are a list of the odd phrases I've said so far tonight: "No, please j-just stop dipping your pretzel in your water" "No, eating candy is bad for you, eating candy is wrong, the aliens will eat your face off" "Did you pee on..." "Yes, cause me and my dad are, we're magical" "Yeah but now you're around me and I have generic bad luck" "Are you singing the colors of the alphabet?" "Of all the things you could've repeated from our conversation, you chose off putting?" "Cause it's my word"
-Floating Penguin

Friday, January 13, 2012

1-2 Hour Time Span

Today was a very strange day for me. I got to go to Floating Penguin's house, which is always strange. On our walk back from Maggie Moo's, I found a banana peel on the ground and chased her with it claiming that if she was touched by it, she would get rabies. Once she was touched, I wanted to put the peel in someones mailbox, but she said that it was illegal, so I had to put it on top. We also claimed that once we left the house it would be blown up by the CIA, singe we are their most wanted. This would result in Gladys really blowing up, and i didn't think she wanted that. I also attempted to throw Gladys' toy at her, with out her jumping up, and shouting "Throw the cheese!" (ASDF reference). We even shouted random scenes from ASDF videos whilst I was eating pasta that I first thought were shrimp. And after all this time, I just noticed that I am writing backwards. This means that the first event happened last and the last event happened first. I didn't even mean for that to happen.

-Gliteriffic Ostrich

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Healthy Creatures

Just like every day, I pick up my cat, take her to my rom and procede to talk to her about my day and any random thoughts (don't judge me, this is how i vent about my day). Today I questioned her about her thoughts on our new puppy, which we will be getting this Saturday. After this, I sat on my bed and started asking her about random things. The idea then came to me, CATS SHOULD BE ABLE TO GET BRACES! I then asked her if on her next appointment I should go with her and ask her vet her opinion on this matter. Since she apparently didn't want this, she jumped out of my arms and sat by the door. I then reassured her that only kittens would need to get them, since their growth. I think she is still scared of me and still hates me.
-Glitteriffic Ostrich

Sunday, January 8, 2012


You know you're lovestruck when you've been counting down the hours all weekend until you get to see your crush again. Especially when you rejoice at 8:45 Sunday night because you only have 24 hours left.
-Floating Penguin

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Adorkableness, rouge AI's, and wormholes...

Adorkableness, rouge AI's, and wormholes...this is what you get from a Warehouse 13 and Eureka marathon. Along with some awkward love triangles, but what triangle isn't awkward?
-Floating Penguin